Secrets and Pleasure

Author: Frogg

E-mail: hrshellkw@aol.com

Rated: PG

Disclaimer: Not mine. Will return in a much better mood when done.

Summary: A coming of age. Some illusions are broken.

Author's Note: Set before Moria.

{ Chapter 3 }

Legolas stood rooted to the spot, heart shattering as Aragorn's words echoed in his mind.

Your friendship pains me... friendship pains me... friendship pains me...

A broken sob escaped him, tears burning his eyes until they closed. 'Oh, Arwen, Arwen... I have failed you. You were wrong, mellon-nin... I have betrayed thee...'

The memory came unbidden as grief crushed him in a mithril-strong embrace.

"Legolas?"

Legolas turned, surprised to hear Arwen's voice this night; he'd rather thought she would be with Aragorn, as the Fellowship would be setting out on their Quest come morning, and he said as much.

Arwen only smiled gently at him and shook her head. "Aragorn and I have already said our goodbyes." Stepping to Legolas' side, she turned and looked out over the gardens for a long moment. "Walk with me?"

There was a note of authority, command, in her voice, and he could not deny her. He nodded, and followed in companionable silence as she led him deeper into the foliage, beyond the faint sounds of laughter and merrymaking that remained of the feast.

Arwen stopped in a small glade of widely spaced young trees, moving to one side to give Legolas space. "I would ask a favor of you, mellon-nin." Her tone was sober, almost somber in its seriousness.

"Speak then, and I shall endeavor to see it done." And he would; he could not deny her anything, any more than he could deny Aragorn. She possessed Aragorn's heart.

"Forgive me if I speak in riddles; I have not the right to explain outright, but can only assure you will understand in time. You and Aragorn leave on the morrow, and I can only imagine the trials you will face. We both love him with all our being - no, Legolas," Arwen said soothingly at Legolas' gasp and expression of panic. "I am not insulted; how can I be? I would not have him leave at all if it could be helped, but I could not wish him any other company but yours. We both love him," she repeated firmly. "But in very different manner."

"Arwen, I do not think you under-"

Arwen shushed him yet again. "Let me speak, Legolas, what I have to say is important, and it is no less difficult to say than I imagine it is to hear."

Legolas stared at her for a long moment, then nodded slowly.

"You are his strength, his courage, as he doubts his own; I know this, and would have you know it as well should you not realize it already." Arwen searched his face, ignoring the flushed ears, the darkened cheekbones before continuing. "Be his comfort, should he need it; he will not ask."

Her words brought a rush of pleasure, then shock, and Legolas found himself trying to discover some hidden meaning to the request. There was none, no subtle hint that she was asking more than what the words intimated. "I would offer him whatever comfort he could require, Arwen, you know this without having to ask," he said softly.

"That is not the favor I had spoken of." She bit her lip, worrying it, her gaze upon the soft moss and leaves littering the forest floor.

"Then ask."

"It it not so much a favor... as permission. Freedom, I suppose." She swallowed, inhaled deeply before continuing. "Should you and Aragorn seek one another's embrace, I will not find it amiss." Pausing, she reached out and pressed a finger to his lips, stopping whatever protest he would have made. "I have no illusions about how horrifying the journey may become, the pains you may suffer. To deny either of you whatever pleasure you may find would be cruel and selfish. And I will not be either; I would rejoice that you could find such joys amid your sacrifice."

"Arwen, you do not know what you ask-"

"I ask you to be true to yourself for once. True to him, true to me. He will need you; do not deny him, and stop denying your heart what it craves." Her gaze was determined, and would allow him no further argument.

"What are you, Aragorn's messenger?" he asked, bitterness lending a slight edge to his voice.

"No, mellon-nin, you are."

She went on, but her voice faded as the flashback broke.

Legolas gasped, chest heaving as precious air flooded his lungs. Bits and pieces of past conversations fought for his attention.

"I love Arwen dearly - as a sister."

"We both love him, but in very different manner."

"What are you, Aragorn's messenger?"

"No, mellon-nin, you are."

"There was a visitor to Rivendell before Arwen arrived. A messenger, really..."

"I will not have you forced."

"And your messenger friend?"

"They broke a promise to me."

"And what of our friendship?"

"To lose even that much would destroy me."

Laughter bubbled up inside him, so much making sense now. His body flushed with heat and wonder.

A quick glance showed him that Aragorn had continued on some ways. The Man stopped short at hearing Legolas call out after him, his back stiff for a long moment before he turned with obvious reluctance.

Legolas' loping run closed the distance between them in a few strides. "Aragorn, forgive me," he begged, eyes bright with joy and the tears still glittering unnoticed on his cheeks.

"Don't," Aragorn rasped. His face was filled with pained fear and regret; he'd said too much, revealed what he'd never intended.

"I have to." Legolas realized then that words would not be enough, and yet he had to try. "Forgive my blindness; I could not see, could not hear more than what I expected. It was never my intent to cause you pain."

Aragorn turned away from him at that, unable to bear the Elf's pity.

Hope and despair warring in his heart, Legolas reached out and laid a gentle hand on Aragorn's arm. He was gratified to have him not flinch, not pull away, but the Man did not turn back to him either. "I know that mere words are not enough to convince you of my sincerety, not now. I hope that you will listen to them in time." Legolas swallowed, gathering his courage to him and letting his hand slowly slide down Aragorn's arm. Debating inwardly whether or not to say anything more, he shook his head slightly, cradling Aragorn's hand in his own before doing the one thing, the only thing, that might have any chance at all of getting through to his beloved.

Aragorn started, eyes widening in shock as he felt soft skin, silky hair beneath his hand. He could sense the tiny quivers that ran through Legolas' body and had to suppress any larger reaction for fear of hurting him.

Time slowed as he turned back to stare, not at Legolas, but at his own hand, gently held to the Elf's ear. "You... why..." Aragorn licked his lips, unable to form a coherent sentence. He was well aware of the meaning behind the gesture, and could not let his hand drop as Legolas' arm lowered to his side.

Legolas was asking his hand in marriage.

"Amin mela lle.*" Legolas' voice was hoarse, shaky, as he fought to stay coherent, fought to keep his eyes open and focused. How long had he ached for Aragorn's touch like this? "Amin corm naa lle, manka lle merna ta.*" There was more to be said, but the words stuck in his throat as Aragorn's fingers flexed, sliding into the heavy silk of his hair. The edge of a calloused thumb teased the tip of his ear and he had to widen his stance to stay upright.

Aragorn tilted his head slightly, watched as Legolas' eyes glazed over with pleasure and passion. 'Beautiful,' he thought, the pain in his heart easing. He could not give the answer he wanted to, nor could he drop his hand away, not until... "Why?"

Sensing Aragorn's willingness to listen, Legolas shifted just enough to stop the slight caress so he could think. "Orcs. On the way to 'Lorien." The answer was clipped, a sure sign of how distracted he'd been only a moment before. "Couldn't send a messenger without my father's permission. Was stuck there healing from the poison, didn't get back to Mirkwood until news of your engagement arrived."

"And you could not bear to see the two of us..." Aragorn breathed, the knowledge cleansing.

"Thought my chance... our chance... was lost." Legolas swallowed hard, then shifted back until Aragorn's hand rested once more directly on his ear. He lost the battle then, his eyes rolling back as they shuttered, a tiny whimpering moan escaping him.

"Vanima,*" Aragorn whispered, watching in awe as Legolas' control unraveled.

Legolas opened his eyes, their clear blue darkened to navy. He inhaled raggedly, reaching up to still Aragorn's hand on his ear. "Are you ever going to answer me?"

Aragorn's lips twitched in a suppressed smile. "Was there a question?"

Stiffening in insult despite the spark of mischief he could see glinting in Aragorn's eyes, Legolas pulled away.

"No, wait," Aragorn said swiftly, alarmed. He hooked his elbow over the Elf's shoulder, his free hand grabbing for Legolas' other arm. If he lost contact with Legolas' ear... It did not bear thinking about. "It seems it is my turn to beg forgiveness, a'mael*." He drew closer, thumb once more stroking the tip of Legolas' ear until the tension faded.

Legolas thought for a long moment that Aragorn was going to kiss him. He wanted it, closed his eyes in anticipation of it, but instead felt the soft brush of beard against his cheek. His arms rose as if of their own volition, one hand coming to rest on Aragorn's hip just above Anduil's scabbard, the other winding around the ranger's back and pulling him into an awkward embrace.

"Aragorn?" A shiver ran through him; even to him, his voice sounded small, needy.

"Shhh, melamin."

Legolas felt moist lips against his jaw. He tilted his head, granting greater access to his throat, pressing his ear more firmly into the ranger's calloused hand. "Saes...*"

"Amin mela lle," Aragorn whispered, rubbing cat-like against the soft skin of Legolas' neck. "Lle sinta sina. N'uma n'at caela 'min mele.*" He drew back then. "Look at me." The Elf shuddered against him, but did nothing more. "Look at me," Aragorn repeated.

Blue eyes opened slowly, pupils dilated until only a thin sliver of color showed. He gasped, swallowing against his nervousness as the hand clutching his arm loosened its hold, slid up his shoulder. A calloused finger traced the tendon in his neck, coaxing a low moan from him. "You would make me wait?" The words sounded thick, drugged.

"I would savor this," Aragorn said in answer before burying his fingers in the golden silk of Legolas' hair.

Legolas tightened his hold as that rough palm covered his other ear, brushing mercilessly over the lobe and outer edge. Sagging, he let Aragorn take his weight as relief weakened his knees, relief and the sparks of arousal cascading down his spine.

"Answer enough?"

Beyond words, Legolas quieted him with a soft kiss, close-mouthed and chaste. Moments later, unable to stop himself, he teased Aragorn's mouth open with the tip of his tongue, and he sank gratefully into the first real kiss with his beloved.

Translations

Amin mela lle = I love you

Amin corm naa lle, manka lle merna ta = My heart is yours, if you wish it

Vanima = Beautiful

a'mael = beloved

Saes = please

Lle sinta sina = You know this

N'uma n'at caela 'min mele = No other have I loved

Part 4